Day 9: Channel Your Inner Cat

We all experience the boiling soup in our heads when an agreement on a delivery with a teammate manifests itself as a completely different outcome than the originally discussed idea. "Wait. Whaaat? Didn't we agree on so and so? I thought we were on the same page when they left the room galloping full gusto!!! I thought they were going to come back with what we finally agreed on... Arghhhhhh.... Why? What? Whyyyyyyy?"  I get how annoying this is. When I am in a state of what feels like my ideas are discarded and disrespected, my inner child starts screaming all tones of screams. Highs and lows. No medium range notes. Nada. I first doubt myself, then start either feeling angry at the person or I give up on the battle completely, because I have no more energy left to discuss the project any further. So, what to do?

• Take a deep deep blue breath and go back to the original meeting minutes to remember WHY the original decision took place at the first place.
• Then, imagine as if you are a little cute kitten. So cute. Once, you connect with your cute little inner kitten, get curious like a playful kitten would, WHY this person/group took a detour from the original agreement? Please really embody the kitten in your being. Otherwise, you will still be under the influence of your angry inner child. You might find out that the person generates ideas more comfortably when they work alone.
• Play a yes, and game to find the middle way to draft a new agreement and help and encourage the person to be more collaborative. Give yourself a pat on the shoulder, because you are helping someone grow.
• Record the new agreement.
• After everyone finally agrees for reals, just keep coming back the agreement notes for each iteration. Breathe, persist, repeat.

Persistence is a lesson I learned from MR. Claw. When he wants something, first he gets closer to his want. For example, he would go by the door and start staring at the door knob in silence. Then, he would make eye contact with me. Then, he moves his gaze back at the door knob, then looks at me, then looks at door knob again, then looks at me. He does this with patience and persistence. The moment I tell him he needs to use his cat door, he starts meowing at me persistently. I roll my eyes and open the door for him. So you see, he is a master persister.